Thinking Out Loud

I wanted to write a post to my wife, Mari, for Valentine’s Day. Both of us think that Valentine’s Day is more of a “Hallmark Holiday,” and thus we don’t really celebrate it. However, I thought that this would be a nice gift, a way to express how much she means to me.

Our life is rather complicated, more than most people our age. Largely, that has to do with CF rearing its ugly head more and more as time goes on. Add to that both of our careers, our teenage son, and managing our everyday life and it all adds up to…….A LOT!! Sometimes, we both feel like our head is going to explode, and we both just want to run far away from it all. But we don’t (obviously); I’d like to think that has to do with the deep love and respect we have for each other. I know for myself that she has made me a better man, husband, father, son, and person with chronic illness. So this song expresses a deep love that will last through thick and thin; this just so happens to be one of her favorites!

Thinking Out Loud, by Ed Sheeran, is a love song about growing old together and letting the love grow with age, like a fine wine. It has become one of the most successful singles of all time, having been streamed over a half a BILLION times and was number one on the charts for over a year. Sheeran sings this song as if he is older than he really is, like an old soul that has experienced this deep and long lasting love. In truth, he is only in his 20’s and probably has not. But that’s the power of music; being able to channel something that you may or may not have done or felt in life into something that resonates with the masses. In turn, the listener can interpret the song and relate that into their own life. This song is pretty transparent in its meaning of everlasting love, and has thus become a staple on the wedding circuit. Here are a few lyrics:

When your legs don’t work like they used to before
And I can’t sweep you off of your feet
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks
And darling I will be loving you ’til we’re 70
And baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23

Cause honey your soul can never grow old, it’s evergreen
Baby your smile’s forever in my mind and memory

So this song is for you Mari. Not only are you incredibly beautiful, but you’re smart, funny, and possess an inner strength that is unmatched. You are my wife and partner, have had to navigate waters not many people can understand. Being a spouse of someone with CF means sitting by and watching the person you love go through immeasurable obstacles and life-threatening infections. All the while, that person has to manage the entirety of the life built together, as the hospitalizations grow in frequency and intensity, the ability to work and support becomes less and less, and the world you built together gets flipped upside down over and over and over……….. It’s exhausting, and the spouse often gets overlooked for all of the sacrifices made. Even if a person knew some of the hardships of CF they could not be ready for all it entails as the progression takes hold.

Mari, you are the love of my life, and my rock through all this crazy and maddening ride we call the CF train. I cannot imagine my life without you by my side, and these words cannot fully express how much you mean to me. I hope that we grow old enough to make Ed Sheeran’s words come true.

Happy Valentine’s Day!!

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